


The Knope-Swanson Family

by RAVENSCORE



Category: Parks and Recreation
Genre: AU, F/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Parenthood, Rating May Change
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-02
Updated: 2017-04-17
Packaged: 2018-09-14 03:10:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 1,176
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9157621
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RAVENSCORE/pseuds/RAVENSCORE
Summary: Just ficlets about Ron, and Leslie, and their kids (the kids are my original characters, obviously).





	1. Baby Naming

**Author's Note:**

> I got the idea for the kid's name from a Benslie fic I read a while ago.

“I think Ann would be an acceptable boys name!” Leslie argued.

“We are not naming our son Ann.”

“Please.”

“No way.”

“How about Joe.”

“We're not naming him after Joe Biden.”

“You're no fun.”

“We're never going to agree are we?”

“No. Heck, the only thing we can ever agree on is-” they both stare at each other.

“Breakfast food.” They said simultaneously.

 

***

 

They're eating breakfast a month later, Ron is holding the baby. It's the first time they've been out for breakfast since the baby was born. J.J walks over with their food. He smiles when he sees the baby.

“He's so adorable. What's his name?” 

Leslie smiles at him. “His names J.J”


	2. In Which J.J Visits The Most Evil Horrible Place Ever, That No One Should Have To Set Foot In, For A School Project

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> J.J is around eleven in this one, seeing as I decided to make these jump around in time.

J.J walked in the door. “How was school?” Leslie asked him. She had a stupid day off. She hates days off. He looked worried.

“Mom. I need a book for a school project. It's not in any of the bookstores and we can't order it online because I need it tomorrow. You know what that means right?”

“Oh no. This isn't good.”

 

***

 

“Okay we've drilled you on this. What do you do?”

“I casually walk in, grab the book I need, then push down a bookshelf, yell ‘punk ass book jockeys’ then run away.”

“What do you do if you see the evil crazy she demon from hell?”

“I run away.”

“And what can you under no circumstances do because you will get killed if you do?”

“Tell anyone my name or who my parents are.”

“You're ready.” They’re sitting in the car right outside the library. “Quick go!” She tells him. He runs inside.

A few minutes later he runs back out clutching a book tightly and being chased by several librarians. He jumps in the car and Leslie slams down the gas pedal. “Punk ass book jockeys!” she yells out the window.

“I threw some stink bombs.” J.J tells her. She reaches over and hands him twenty dollars.

“You are officially the most amazing kid ever.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because any child of Leslie's who throws stink bombs into the library is definitely gonna get twenty bucks.


	3. Dinner with Andy and April

“How did you talk me into this?”

“By nicely asking you.”

“I don't think that that is correct.”

“Okay, fine. I annoyed you while making puppy dog eyes for a full hour.”

“That sounds about right. You dropped J.J off at your mom’s house, right?”

“Yup.”

“This cannot end well.” he said for the millionth time.

“Oh come on…”

“Seriously, it's dinner with Andrew and April. Someone will end up dead.”

“Ron… Actually that's probably true.”

 

***

 

“Hey losers!” April calls from a table in the back. She is, however, drawing very much attention, seeing as Leslie managed to get them a reservation at a very nice restaurant. Andy is smiling eagerly, April is playing on her phone looking as though she does not want to be here. “How did you get roped into this?” she asks Ron.

“Puppy dog eyes.”

“Same.” she looks back down at her phone as Leslie and Andy giggle about their shared superpower of making their spouses bend to their will.

“This is fun!” Andy exclaims.

“Yeah!” Leslie agrees. Ron grunts and April pretends to choke herself. 

The evening is somewhat fun, they talk about work, and other things. Leslie will not stop talking about J.J, and Andy won’t stop talking about Champion. Andy and Leslie each get five desserts, Ron and April pass. Once they’ve paid the bill, April asks if they want to go to the Snakehole for a while. They all agree, except Ron and April decide to drive together so that they can have some silence for a few minutes.

 

***

 

The club is especially loud and packed tonight. Leslie is attempting to dance and have fun, when some pervert grabs her ass. She yells at him for a while then slaps him in the face. Ron however, is walking by on his way to the bar, just in time to see the man hitting Leslie back. He dives over, tackles the man and begins to repeatedly punch him in the face. The man’s friends run over and attempt to help the man fight Ron off, except Leslie holds them back, throwing punches at lightning speed. Of course, Andy and April join in the minute they see anything exciting. And soon there’s a fist fight with eight people, happening in the middle of the club.

Once the police show up and start arresting everyone, Leslie turns to Ron. “Ha ha! You were wrong, no one died!”


	4. Waffles At Four AM

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pregnant Leslie!

“Ron.” She groans.

“What is it?”

“I want waffles.”

“Leslie, it's four am.”

“I'm your wife and I'm pregnant, I'm entitled to waffles whenever I want them.”

“We can go to J.J’s tomorrow and you can have as many waffles as you want.”

“You have to make me waffles it's in the constitution.”

“That is in no way true.”

“Waffles!”, she pouts, kicking her legs up and down like a toddler.

“Okay, okay.”, he says, gently rubbing her feet as he sits up in order to stop her from kicking.

“Hurry up.”, she moans as he kisses her on the forehead and walks to the kitchen.


	5. Daddy is Being a Stupid Ass

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ron and Leslie's competitive relationship causes some problems now that they're parents.

For what was certainly not the first time, Leslie and Ron were in a work related fight. They had to try and convince the city council members whether or not Sweetums should run the concession stands (apparently they had come out with a new, less healthy version of Nutriyums and were now back). They had had a day full of yelling and fighting, always careful to try and get along around their son though. However, it was hard not to let an argument or snarky comment or two slip.

 

After J.J had fallen asleep, Ron and Leslie were going to bed. Ron walked out of the bathroom and into their room to find Leslie already on the bed. He was about to lie down, but Leslie sprawled her limbs across the bed leaving zero space. “Sorry, but you’re being a stupid ass. Stupid asses don’t get bed space.”

“Dammit, woman.” He glares at her before picking up a pillow from the bed and walking to the living room. She sticks out her tongue.

She’s surprised to see J.J walking into the room a few minutes later, nearly in tears. “What’s the matter buddy,” she asks as she pulls her son into her lap. “did you have a nightmare?” He shakes his head.

“Are you and daddy gonna get divorced?”

“What? No!”

“My friend told me that when parents fight it means they’re gonna get divorced.” he sniffled.

“Hey, don’t worry about that.” She gave him a reassuring smile while she racked her brain for a metaphor the six year old could understand. “It’s like when you and your friends play soccer. Sometimes you’re not on the same team as them, but you’re still friends. Mommy and daddy still love each other, we’re just on different teams sometimes.”

“Then why does daddy have to sleep on the couch?”

“Because daddy is being a- and you are not allowed to say this- daddy is being a stupid ass.”


End file.
